Here's how to become a career hospital patient

The best way to become a career hospital patient is to do the following:

1. Eat poorly
2. Smoke
3. Sit often
4. Bath seldom
5. Heat with a wood stove in your house
6. Don't wear seatbelts
7. Jump off bridges
8. Don't take your medicines
9. Don't see a doctor regularly
10. Stay medically ignorant

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