I'm happy to announce a winner of http://skincarebeautyproduct.blogspot.com/2009/07/beauty-giveaway-win-advanced-face.html">our recent contest who will receive Dr.Perricone's best-selling product - the Advanced Face Firming Activator. We had 150 participants eager to try this wonderful anti-aging treatment. The lucky winner was selected randomly.Congratulations to the author of the comment #49 -
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Antibiotic Resistant Gonorrhea in UK
Scientists have raised fears that a fresh damage of anti-biotic resistant gonorrhea is thinning out across Britain. Tests have shown that the strain is emerging in England and Wales and is resistant to the antibiotic azithromycin, usually used to treat the infection.The Health Protection Agency has said that the findings are a major public health anxiety. Despite the fact that gonorrhea is the second most common STD in the UK in modern year’s, rates of infection had dropped because of a boost in alertness. Also greater numbers of citizens are getting a gonorrhea test. These are typically carried out at local GUM clinics, as a home gonorrhea STD test is not usually available on the NHS, dissimilar a home Chlamydia test. Though the conclusions move up the danger that if the infection grows harder to treat, infection rates might begin to raise again.
Gonorrhea has been connected to pelvic inflammatory disease, which can cause ectopic pregnancies, abortions and can chunk the fallopian tubes. In men it can cause infertility as well.
While azithromycin is typically not the first handling of option for gonorrhea, it is usually seen as a withdraw option in cases where other antibiotics have not worked or where the patient is powerless to take the preferred anti-biotic.
The Health Protection Agency have been rising progressively more concerned about gonorrhea becoming opposed to cure for about a decade and in 2001 set up a program to monitor how successful antibiotics treatment was. In 2007, after 6 people had a gonorrhea test and were treated by means of azithromycin, they speckled that all had proved opposed to azithromycin. Scientists in the U.S and Scotland have too reported parallel cases.
The scientists from the Health Protection Agency consider that resistance might have developed because of the drug being prescribed against official recommendation. They also posited the supposition that resistance was an outcome of low doses of the anti-biotic being given to fight Chlamydia.
Sexual Health experts suppose that a lot of patients with Chlamydia may too have gonorrhea. Though as a gonorrhea test is less ordinary than a Chlamydia test, they believe that there are still lots of cases of gonorrhea going undiagnosed and leading to treatment mistakes. While lots of primary health care trusts will give off an chlamydia std test to someone's home, gonorrhea home tests are less common.
The scientist who led to learn, Dr. Stephanie Chisholm, said that gonorrhea had a marked predisposition to expand resistance to anti-biotics and previously could not be treated with ciprofloxacin, tetracycline or penicillin.
She urged anybody who had had a gonorrhea test that was positive to look for treatment, said that it is very important that those who are infected look for treatment, since if left raw complications can happen such as pelvic inflammatory disease, chronic pelvic pain, ectopic pregnancy or sterility.
Birth Control Pills, Pregnancy and Acne - A Complete How-To Guide
Acne first comes about during adolescence, when hormone levels begin to increase.This sudden flucturation of hormones causes the sebaceous glands to go into overdrive. They start generating increased levels of such oils that end up becoming clogged inside the glands. When the oils can't escape, acne results!
So it goes without saying that when there is a fluctuation in the hormone levels within the body, it can trigger an increase in sebaceous oil production, and therefore increases the chance that an outbreak of acne will likely occur. With women, acne breakouts are common while they are taking birth control pills and also when they become pregnant.
Using Birth Control Pills to Control Acne
Women who do take the birth control pill and who notice that their acne is getting worse should discuss the situation with their doctor. Different types of oral contraception have differing levels of hormones and one side effect of some contraception is an increase in acne. Switching to another brand may bring acne back under control.
Any woman who is healthy, and is at least age 15, who has begun menstruating and who has decided to start using oral contraception can discuss getting a prescription for a birth control pill with their doctor. There are several brands that help clear up acne but only one so far has been approved by the FDA for treatment of acne and that is Ortho Tri-cyclen.
It is important to note that taking the birth control pill as a way to treat acne should be the last alternative, after all other acne treatment options have been attempted without success. The birth control pill does have side effects and it must be taken exactly as prescribed to be effective.
Acne During Pregnancy
Women who have become pregnant often report an increase in acne, too. Many changes occur within a woman's body in an effort to properly prepare the body for the growing fetus. The two primary female hormones at work in every woman's body are progesterone and estrogen. Progesterone is more androgenic than estrogen, which basically means it is more like the hormones found in men. Increased progesterone during pregnancy can cause the sebaceous glands to produce more sebaceous oils than normal and that is what can cause outbreaks of acne.
If possible, the best way to handle acne during pregnancy is to realize that it is a short-term problem that will usually go away once the baby is born. If this isn't possible, discuss your options over with a dermatologist who has experience working with patients during their pregnancy. After going through your situation, the dermatologist will be able to suggest treatment options that'll make you happier with your appearance and that won't harm your baby.
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So it goes without saying that when there is a fluctuation in the hormone levels within the body, it can trigger an increase in sebaceous oil production, and therefore increases the chance that an outbreak of acne will likely occur. With women, acne breakouts are common while they are taking birth control pills and also when they become pregnant.
Using Birth Control Pills to Control Acne
Women who do take the birth control pill and who notice that their acne is getting worse should discuss the situation with their doctor. Different types of oral contraception have differing levels of hormones and one side effect of some contraception is an increase in acne. Switching to another brand may bring acne back under control.
Any woman who is healthy, and is at least age 15, who has begun menstruating and who has decided to start using oral contraception can discuss getting a prescription for a birth control pill with their doctor. There are several brands that help clear up acne but only one so far has been approved by the FDA for treatment of acne and that is Ortho Tri-cyclen.
It is important to note that taking the birth control pill as a way to treat acne should be the last alternative, after all other acne treatment options have been attempted without success. The birth control pill does have side effects and it must be taken exactly as prescribed to be effective.
Acne During Pregnancy
Women who have become pregnant often report an increase in acne, too. Many changes occur within a woman's body in an effort to properly prepare the body for the growing fetus. The two primary female hormones at work in every woman's body are progesterone and estrogen. Progesterone is more androgenic than estrogen, which basically means it is more like the hormones found in men. Increased progesterone during pregnancy can cause the sebaceous glands to produce more sebaceous oils than normal and that is what can cause outbreaks of acne.
If possible, the best way to handle acne during pregnancy is to realize that it is a short-term problem that will usually go away once the baby is born. If this isn't possible, discuss your options over with a dermatologist who has experience working with patients during their pregnancy. After going through your situation, the dermatologist will be able to suggest treatment options that'll make you happier with your appearance and that won't harm your baby.
Beauty Tip: Make Sure your Sunblock Really Protects You
You are religiously wearing SPF all year round? But are you really sure you are protected from sun damage?Here are some tips:* Make sure your are protected from both UVA and UVB rays. UVB (burning) has a wavelength range (in nanometers) of: 280-320UVA (aging) has a wavelength range (in nanometers) of: 320-400Read the label to find out what spectrum of UV rays a sunscreen blocks.* Choose
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Maybe It’s Not the Consequences
Think about a child in your program who has significantly improved. Maybe it would be that boy who recently came back for a visit after a successful discharge. Or maybe it’s the girl who has finally stopped hurting herself and running away and who is excelling in African drumming.
What do you think made the difference for this child? What actually helped him or her change and heal?
Most likely you think of the relationships, the patience, the caring. It’s the fact that your team was able to stick with him through the hard times. Maybe you were able to make some progress in connecting her with her family. You noticed that after a while she started to feel safe in the program and began to relax and play more. Probably you taught her some skills- now she asks for her crisis kit when she gets upset, and uses her distress tolerance skills. Maybe he experienced some success- it was when he started doing well on the basketball team that he began his turn around, or when he had that work study job in the kitchen and connected with the cook and started to enjoy cooking. When he finally trusted his therapist enough to tell her that he hated feeling like an idiot when it came to math, that helped too.
In short, we all know that what changes children is the web of loving, patient relationships combined with many repetitive specific skill building activities.
Yet, when we are anxious and upset about a certain child or a certain behavior, our thoughts automatically turn first to consequences.
Janessa keeps running away. Maybe we should give her a longer restriction when she comes back.
Sam continues to be mean to the other boys. Maybe we should give him a reward for every day he is not mean.
How would our programs be if we operated from the assumption that the actions we take after a behavior occurs have NO EFFECT on that behavior? That when we are concerned about a behavior, all our creativity and effort should go into creating the safety and teaching the skills that will enable a child not to need that behavior any more?
Of course this is an exaggeration, our response to a behavior does have some effect on it. But it is actually not our most powerful point of intervention.
What then would we do when a behavior occurred?
What if we thought of that moment as a time to teach a kid what you do when you screw up. This is something we all need to know (I use my skills in this area regularly). This is also something our kids do not know. When they screw up they plunge into an abyss of hopelessness, think all is lost, and prepare to be kicked out.
So we have an opportunity to teach how to repair a mistake. How do we repair our own mistakes with our friends? Apologize, explain what happened, listen to the other person’s experience and take in how they felt, do something nice for them, and make an effort not to make the same mistake again.
Of course our kids can’t do all this. Shame and self hatred make it difficult. But we can lead them to do small steps, small parts and thus gradually and slowly increase their ability to right their wrongs.
And at the same time, we continue the day to day work of helping them develop the self capacities that will diminish the number of mistakes they need to make.
What do you think of this idea? Click on comment and share your response.
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What do you think made the difference for this child? What actually helped him or her change and heal?
Most likely you think of the relationships, the patience, the caring. It’s the fact that your team was able to stick with him through the hard times. Maybe you were able to make some progress in connecting her with her family. You noticed that after a while she started to feel safe in the program and began to relax and play more. Probably you taught her some skills- now she asks for her crisis kit when she gets upset, and uses her distress tolerance skills. Maybe he experienced some success- it was when he started doing well on the basketball team that he began his turn around, or when he had that work study job in the kitchen and connected with the cook and started to enjoy cooking. When he finally trusted his therapist enough to tell her that he hated feeling like an idiot when it came to math, that helped too.
In short, we all know that what changes children is the web of loving, patient relationships combined with many repetitive specific skill building activities.
Yet, when we are anxious and upset about a certain child or a certain behavior, our thoughts automatically turn first to consequences.
Janessa keeps running away. Maybe we should give her a longer restriction when she comes back.
Sam continues to be mean to the other boys. Maybe we should give him a reward for every day he is not mean.
How would our programs be if we operated from the assumption that the actions we take after a behavior occurs have NO EFFECT on that behavior? That when we are concerned about a behavior, all our creativity and effort should go into creating the safety and teaching the skills that will enable a child not to need that behavior any more?
Of course this is an exaggeration, our response to a behavior does have some effect on it. But it is actually not our most powerful point of intervention.
What then would we do when a behavior occurred?
What if we thought of that moment as a time to teach a kid what you do when you screw up. This is something we all need to know (I use my skills in this area regularly). This is also something our kids do not know. When they screw up they plunge into an abyss of hopelessness, think all is lost, and prepare to be kicked out.
So we have an opportunity to teach how to repair a mistake. How do we repair our own mistakes with our friends? Apologize, explain what happened, listen to the other person’s experience and take in how they felt, do something nice for them, and make an effort not to make the same mistake again.
Of course our kids can’t do all this. Shame and self hatred make it difficult. But we can lead them to do small steps, small parts and thus gradually and slowly increase their ability to right their wrongs.
And at the same time, we continue the day to day work of helping them develop the self capacities that will diminish the number of mistakes they need to make.
What do you think of this idea? Click on comment and share your response.
Diagnosis and Testing
If you believe that may have gonorrhea, or you are finding gonorrhea symptoms, visit with your doctor immediately. Simple tests are accessible to authenticate an infection. The earlier you begin gonorrhea treatments, better the results will be. While gonorrhea treatment is almost 99% effective, however it cannot reverse any damage previously done to one’s reproductive organs.Your doctor will start the exam by taking your medical and sexual history and asking you for information concerning your symptoms. It is essential to be as clear as possible regarding any symptoms you may be having, so your doctor can guess how long you have been infected. Your doctor will then carry out a physical exam through which time he will look for any signs of infection, counting fever, inflammation of the vagina or penis, and discharge from the sexual organs.
If you are a woman, your doctor will furthermore check you for any softness in the lower belly that could point to an infection. Your doctor will also obtain a sample of any discharge that is noticeable. In females, samples may be taken from the cervix, anus, or throat. In males, a sample of discharge perhaps is taken from the penis, anus, or throat. This sample will be sent off for culture testing of the bacteria that source gonorrhea.
The sample of discharge taken from your body will be placed in synthetic dish and allowed to produce for two days. If any bacteria are there, they will reproduce and be simply identifiable under a microscope. Some doctors might also have access to a urine test for gonorrhea. A sample of urine will be collected and can point out an infection. This test is not as trustworthy as the culture test, but will facilitate to rule out the infection.
Beauty Fact: Stress Does Cause Gray Hair
Wondering what exactly causes gray strands in your hair? Researchers from UK’s Bradford University recently held a study and revealed that oxidative stress can cause hydrogen-peroxide build up in the hair bulb. This appears to be a cause for gray hair. Unbelievable as it may sound, hair simply gets bleached as it grows out of scalp.Source: Marie Claire, July 2009
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Gonorrhea in Gay Community of USA
CDC advises at least yearly testing for urethral and rectal gonorrhea and Chlamydia of at-risk men who have sex with men, and for pharyngeal gonorrhea. Although the standard technique for analysis is culture, nucleic acid amplification (NAA) testing is normally more sensitive and favored by the majority of experts. NAA tests have not been cleared by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for the analysis of extragenital Chlamydia or gonorrhea and may not be advertise for that intention.
Though, under U.S. law, laboratories can offer NAA testing for identification of extragenital Chlamydia or gonorrhea after inner validation of the technique by a verification study. To determine sexually transmitted disease (STD) testing practices amongst community-based organizations serving MSM, CDC and the San Francisco Department of Public Health gathered data on rectal and pharyngeal gonorrhea and Chlamydia testing at screening sites run by six gay-focused community-based organizations in five U.S. cities during 2007.
This information summarizes the results of the study, which found that three organizations composed samples for NAA testing and three for culture. In total, around 30,000 tests were performed; 5.4% of rectal Gonorrhea, 8.9% of rectal Chlamydia, 5.3% of pharyngeal gonorrhea, and 1.6% of pharyngeal Chlamydia tests were positive. These results reveal that gay-focused community-based organizations can become aware of large numbers of gonorrhea and Chlamydia cases and might reach MSM not being tested somewhere else. Public health officials could think providing support to certain community-based organizations to ease testing and treatment of gonorrhea and Chlamydia.
Gay-focused community-based organizations give medical and social services and are directed and staffed by paid or unpaid community residents with a variety of skill levels, including some who may have medical, nursing, or analysis backgrounds. Funding and other capital are provided by personal and public sources. Many gay-focused community-based organizations in cities with large MSM, lesbian, and bisexual populations offer substitute venues to traditional public STD clinics and classified physicians by providing onsite STD screening and treatment services. Gay-focused community-based organizations normally do not require health insurance for access, are situated in neighborhoods with many MSM, and give culturally competent services for a historically stigmatized population.
Though, under U.S. law, laboratories can offer NAA testing for identification of extragenital Chlamydia or gonorrhea after inner validation of the technique by a verification study. To determine sexually transmitted disease (STD) testing practices amongst community-based organizations serving MSM, CDC and the San Francisco Department of Public Health gathered data on rectal and pharyngeal gonorrhea and Chlamydia testing at screening sites run by six gay-focused community-based organizations in five U.S. cities during 2007.
This information summarizes the results of the study, which found that three organizations composed samples for NAA testing and three for culture. In total, around 30,000 tests were performed; 5.4% of rectal Gonorrhea, 8.9% of rectal Chlamydia, 5.3% of pharyngeal gonorrhea, and 1.6% of pharyngeal Chlamydia tests were positive. These results reveal that gay-focused community-based organizations can become aware of large numbers of gonorrhea and Chlamydia cases and might reach MSM not being tested somewhere else. Public health officials could think providing support to certain community-based organizations to ease testing and treatment of gonorrhea and Chlamydia.
Gay-focused community-based organizations give medical and social services and are directed and staffed by paid or unpaid community residents with a variety of skill levels, including some who may have medical, nursing, or analysis backgrounds. Funding and other capital are provided by personal and public sources. Many gay-focused community-based organizations in cities with large MSM, lesbian, and bisexual populations offer substitute venues to traditional public STD clinics and classified physicians by providing onsite STD screening and treatment services. Gay-focused community-based organizations normally do not require health insurance for access, are situated in neighborhoods with many MSM, and give culturally competent services for a historically stigmatized population.
Source: www.cdc.gov
Beauty Talk: Stretch marks
Stretch mark is kind of a scar. It is formed through tearing of the dermis. Most of us have some kind of stretch marks, either from spurts of growth in puberty, gaining and losing weight, or pregnancy.How do they happen? Experts say that stretch marks are actually caused not only by physical stretching of the skin but also by hormonal changes in the body. Stretch marks happen as deep as the
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Foster Care Behavioral Guidelines
Healing Parents: Helping Wounded Children Learn to Trust & Love by Michael Orlans, Terry M. Levy
CWLA Press (Child Welfare League of America) (December 30, 2006)
CWLA Press (Child Welfare League of America) (December 30, 2006)
Creating Capacity for Attachment: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy in the Treatment of Trauma-Attachment Disorders by Deborah Shell; Art Becker-Weidman Wood N Barnes (July 20, 2005)
I have improved my foster care guidelines, partly through consultation with these two books.
Again, this is only meaningful when imbedded in a context of training, supervision and support. I am currently working on developing a series of six training modules to deliver to our foster care program through out the up coming year.
All comments and suggestions would be most welcome.
Guidelines for Trauma-Informed Behavior Management in Foster Care
1. This approach to behavior management is based on the understanding that problem behaviors are the child’s attempt to manage intolerable emotions such as fear, despair and hopelessness. Because the child does not trust relationships and thus has trouble asking for and accepting help; because he or she has an overly activated nervous system; and because he or she has not learned emotion management skills, the child reacts to set backs with behaviors that help in the moment but have long term negative consequences.
2. The most powerful way to change behavior will be through forming strong relationships, creating attuned communication, creating a sense of self worth, and modeling and teaching emotion management skills.
3. Interactions with the children should be consistent with the Restorative Approach. They should display the qualities of playfulness, love, acceptance, curiosity, and empathy.
4. Whenever possible parents should promote attunement with their children. When there is a break in attunement, the parent should address it and reconnect.
5. Parents must understand that they need to help the child regulate his emotions, by remaining calm them selves, using soothing words, and naming and validating feelings.
6. Many children are shame based and do not feel worthy of life. Parents should be aware of the pervasiveness of shame, be careful not to shame the child, and understand the paralyzing effect of shame.
7. As the child begins to feel safe, her need for problem behaviors will decrease.
8. Building the relationship is more important than changing the behavior. In fact it is necessary before the behavior can change. Prioritize alliance, not compliance.
9. Behavioral difficulty should be handled through re-direction and persuasion. Consequences should not be threatened or imposed except as a last resort. Children can be kept closer in (i.e. kept to house, in sight of parents) when they have acted out, but should constantly be re-evaluated as to whether this is still necessary.
10. Points Levels and behavior charts are not used.
11. As soon as the child is back on track after any incident, they should resume normal activities.
12. Children who are having difficulty should be kept closer to parents. They should not go on trips or off on their own.
13. When a child is agitated, escalated or out of control, all parent efforts should be directed towards helping them calm down. This can be done through listening, validating, taking a walk, quiet, adult closeness and calmness. There should be no discussion at this time of consequences or better ways to handle things. These can be discussed later when the child is calm.
14. If a child has a major problem, they should be given a restorative task consistent with the problem they had. The task should include the elements of learning, making amends and reconnecting. In other words, they should be given opportunities to repair damage done, make amends to people hurt, restore damaged relationships, and do something nice for the family.
15. Until the child has completed their restorative tasks, they should not participate in extra or just-for-fun activities. They should be part of all regular activities. This means all regular therapy and school unless parents determine it’s unsafe for the child to be in these activities. They could go to bed earlier to get energy for their restorative work.
16. When the child has completed their restorative task, they should return to all normal activity.
17. Isolation to any room should not be used. Children become regulated in the presence of regulated adults.
18. Restrictions can be used (car, pool, etc). These are used when a child is not safe while doing these activities. They should be for short times such as a day or two and constantly reevaluated.
19. Children can be asked to leave the family area (if possible, with an adult) to calm down or re focus, and then return in a short time (5-15 minutes), but this should be done only rarely- children are most likely to calm down when close to calm adults, not when sent off by themselves.
20. Structure is extremely important and the children need a highly structured day with planned activities, and they are helped by knowing what will happen next. Families maintain order throughout the day by such mechanisms as plans, describing what will happen next, taking turns, quiet time, and game playing. Alternating quiet activities with more energetic activities helps the kids contain their emotions. When kids are unsafe, keeping them to a small circle of activities and people is helpful; taking them to events like large family picnics may be a set up for difficult behavior. Choices should be limited. Free time, alone time, and going to bed are particularly difficult and should be supported by the adult. Events in which there is a lot of noise, confusion and stimulation (such as shopping) can also be difficult for some children. The adults should try to structure the child’s day so he experiences success, not put him in situations for which he is not prepared. Routines, rituals and ceremonies are very helpful in establishing a safe structure in the home.
21. Bedtime and hygiene are particularly sensitive times for children who have experienced trauma. Problems in these areas should not be addressed through punishments or rewards. The children should be supported through parent closeness and creative interventions such as music, night lights, bubble baths, etc.
22. When a child’s behavior begins to deteriorate, the first question to ask is: is she feeling safe? The second question is: is she over stimulated?
Beauty Shopping: Anti-Cellulite Solution, New Discovery for Under Eye Circles
Today I had a rare chance to do some beauty shopping! So what was on my shopping list… I needed to restock on Estee Lauder Stress Relief Eye Mask. Nowadays, with a baby I need lots of stress relief solutions! Seriously, skin and especially skin around the eyes suffer most because of those sleepless nights. I still need to review those masks. They are great! I also decided to try out one of the
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Beauty Giveaway: Win Advanced Face Firming Activator
I am pleased to announce a new contest on Skin Care and Beauty Blog. Here is your chance to win Advanced Face Firming Activator from the famous Dr.Perricone!If you have dull uneven skin, enlarged pores, lines and wrinkles, you may want to give this product a try. Dr.Perricone promises that Alpha Lipoic Acid and DMAE, the two main ingredients of Advanced Face Firming Activator will help to
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Guidelines for Trauma-Informed Behavior Management in Foster Care
I am working on training and materials to adapt the Restorative Approach for foster parents. As one piece of it, I am developing Behavior Management guidelines for foster families. The guideline will be meaningless unless embedded in a training program that teaches how to understand trauma, how to help children heal, understanding symptoms as adaptations, the use of the relationship, and taking care of ourselves. However, I do think it will be useful to give parents specific ideas about what we expect them to do. Here is what I have so far, and I would greatly appreciate feed back. Just click the word "comment" below. Thank you.
1. This approach to behavior management is based on the understanding that problem behaviors are the child’s attempt to manage intolerable emotions such as fear, despair and hopelessness. Because the child does not trust relationships and thus has trouble asking for and accepting help; because he or she has an overly activated nervous system; and because he or she has not learned emotion management skills, the child reacts to set backs with behaviors that help in the moment but have long term negative consequences.
2. The most powerful way to change behavior will be through forming strong relationships, creating attuned communication, creating a sense of self worth, and modeling and teaching emotion management skills.
3. Interactions with the children should be consistent with the Restorative Approach. They should display the qualities of playfulness, love, acceptance, curiosity, and empathy. (Daniel Hughes)
4. As the child begins to feel safe, her need for problem behaviors will decrease.
5. Behavioral difficulty should be handled through re-direction and persuasion. Consequences should not be threatened or imposed except as a last resort.
6. Children can be kept closer in (i.e. kept to house, in sight of parents) when they have acted out, but should constantly be re-evaluated as to whether this is still necessary.
7. Points Levels and behavior charts are not used.
8. As soon as the child is back on track after any incident, they should resume normal activities.
9. Children who are having difficulty should be kept closer to parents. They should not go on trips or off on their own.
10. When a child is agitated, escalated or out of control, all parent efforts should be directed towards helping them calm down. This can be done through listening, validating, taking a walk, quiet, adult closeness and calmness. There should be no discussion at this time of consequences or better ways to handle things. These can be discussed later when the child is calm.
11. If a child has a major problem, they should be given a restorative task consistent with the problem they had. The task should include the elements of learning, making amends and reconnecting. In other words, they should be given opportunities to repair damage done, make amends to people hurt, restore damaged relationships, and do something nice for the family.
12. Until the child has completed their restorative tasks, they should not participate in extra or just-for-fun activities. They should be part of all regular activities. This means all regular therapy and school unless parents determine it’s unsafe for the child to be in these activities. They could go to bed earlier to get energy for their restorative work.
13. When the child has completed their restorative task, they should return to all normal activity.
14. Isolation to any room should not be used. Children become regulated in the presence of regulated adults.
15. Restrictions can be used (car, pool, etc). These are used when a child abuses the rules around activities to the point where safety is compromised. They should be for short times such as a day or two and constantly reevaluated.
16. Children can be asked to leave the family area to calm down or re focus, and then return in a short time (5-15 minutes), but this should be done only rarely- children are most likely to calm down when close to calm adults, not when sent off by themselves.
17. Structure is extremely important and the children need a highly structured day with planned activities, and they are helped by knowing what will happen next. Families maintain order throughout the day by such mechanisms as plans, describing what will happen next, taking turns, quiet time, and game playing. Alternating quiet activities with more energetic activities helps the kids contain their emotions. When kids are unsafe, keeping them to a small circle of activities and people is helpful; taking them to events like large family picnics may be a set up for difficult behavior. Choices should be limited. Free time, alone time, and going to bed are particularly difficult and should be supported by the adult. Events in which there is a lot of noise, confusion and stimulation (such as shopping) can also be difficult for some children. The adults should try to structure the child’s day so he experiences success, not put him in situations for which he is not prepared. Routines, rituals and ceremonies are very helpful in establishing a safe structure in the home.
18. Bedtime and hygiene are particularly sensitive times for children who have experienced trauma. Problems in these areas should not be addressed through punishments or rewards. The children should be supported through parent closeness and creative interventions such as music, night lights, bubble baths, etc.
19. When a child’s behavior begins to deteriorate, the first question to ask is: is she feeling safe? The second question is: is she over stimulated?
Thanks again for any ideas or suggestions you may have.
Beauty Review: Guerlain Meteorites Powder Pink Fresh
Packaging:The powder box is made of cardboard which disappointed me at first. From the photos I saw online I was under impression the package will be incredibly beautiful – a combination of plastic or metal) with glass decorations. Well, it’s just carton. The only consolation is that it was inspired by Marie Antoinette and that such packaging is actually more eco friendly.Shade: Pink FreshIt
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Less Beauty Blogging
Dear All, from now on I will be posting less frequently on my Skin Care and Beauty Blog. This is unfortunate but is due to a very happy event – birth of my son! It will be impossible for me to balance all the aspects of my life at the beginning of this new life chapter. As you imagine or probably know, motherhood is very demanding and time consuming! So I will need some time off :-) But instead
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The Talk
I am beginning to work on an adaptation of the Restorative Approach for foster parents. As part of that project, I have been re-reading Dan Hughes latest book:
Attachment Focused Parenting (Daniel Hughes W.W. Norton & Co.; 1 edition March 16, 2009) particularly the last section on reducing attachment resistance. I came across the following section:
"Many children who resist turning to their parents for both safety and exploration of the self and the world tend to develop similar strategies for self-reliance and coping. These strategies reflect the psychological reality that they are responsible for both their own safety and for learning about the world. They... cannot rely on their parents.. They tend to tell other- including their parents- what they are convinced is best and what others should do. They tend to want to decide the best course of action for themselves and to oppose the decisions of their parents and others.
These children also try to avoid any event that might be associated with prior events involving fearful and shaming experiences. They develop a strong avoidance of memories of those prior events as well as any current situations that might elicit those memories. These children, in a fundamental way, may never feel safe since they fear parts of their own mind. Not only are they hyper vigilant about external events, they are equally hyper vigilant about allowing parts of their inner life to enter awareness. They often react with intense rage or terror when seemingly routine events- associated with past traumas- elicit an intense emotional response. Parents may facilitate perceived safety by controlling what their child is exposed to in the external world. It is much harder for parents to increase their child’s sense of safety when his fears originate within himself.
Given that these children have not relied on their attachment figures in any consistent manner, they are also likely not to show the developmental skills that children with attachment security tend to manifest. Their emotional experience and expressions tend toward the extreme, lacking a "thermostat" that will create flexible regulation. Their ability to reflect on the events of their lives tends to be weak, as they react to situations, often in a repetitive and rigid manner driven by fears regarding safety." (p. 177)
I think the idea of the traumatized child being afraid of what is inside himself has profound implications.
To further quote Daniel Hughes:
"Without attachment security, a child is less likely to turn to his parents for guidance as to how to be successful. He is also less likely to acknowledge his mistakes and try to correct them. He is less likely to communicate his difficulties and ask for help. As a result, he is less likely to learn from his mistakes and so correct them. Rather, he is more likely to make the same mistake again and again. This most likely will create a pervasive sense of failure. Rather than ask for help, he is likely to rely on himself more, become even more hypervigilant and controlling. With structure, supervision and limited choices, his environment makes success more likely and failure more difficult. Until he can learn from his mistakes, they have to be kept to a minimum by his environment.
There are many different reasons why children who resist attachment have trouble learning from their mistakes. First, their pervasive sense of shame causes them to deny mistakes, have excuses for them, or blame others. Second, they often have developmental disabilities that place them in situations that they are not prepared for. They tend to be raised or taught according to their chronological age rather than their developmental age. Basic skills of self-direction, impulse control, frustration tolerance, and delay of gratification tend to be weak, leaving them at a high risk for failure in many situations." (p. 185)
This seems to me further illuminate the problems that occur when staff in treatment programs try to talk to kids about their mis-behavior. Staff then say: "He will never take responsibility for his behavior" and are disappointed when the children don’t change. So we have scenarios like this:
Staff is approaching Mark to discuss what happened in school today:
Mark is new here but I really like him. I know he’s has had a rough life
Still, he can’t go around hitting people like he did in school today.
I have to get him to understand what he did wrong and take responsibility for his behavior.
I know Leroy can instigate other kids.
I will explain to Mark that if he just asks staff for help when Leroy bothers him things will go much better.
I will explain that if he doesn’t hit anyone for the rest of the week he can go to the movies with us on Saturday.
At first I didn’t think he was listening but then he began to agree with what I was telling him.
I’m sure the rest of the week will be better.
Mark is being approached by staff with a serious look on their face:
Someone is coming towards me. She looks angry. Danger! Danger! Mobilize all defenses!
I don’t trust her. I just met her a few weeks ago and she seems mean.
I know I screwed up in school again today, what a total loser I am, but the class was so confusing and I didn’t get the math. The teacher was busy with the other kids as usual and besides I know she doesn’t like me. Leroy was giving me that smirk like Joe used to and what could I do but push him away and I was afraid I was going to do much worst things.
She’s coming over here to kick me out or punish me or something bad I know it I know it.
La la la la la la I cannot hear a word she is saying who cares it doesn’t matter
I tell her what happened was Leroy and the teacher’s fault and this place sucks and I hate everyone here.
I try to shut out her words, she is smiling but I know that is fake. I agree with whatever she says trying not to hear it. I have my own ways of protecting myself against Leroy.
FINALLY she is going away and I can get back to my Nintendo DS
Sound familiar?
Will the rest of the week go better?
What could the staff have done differently:
Take longer to connect before going into the problem.
Identify the feelings Mark must have had in school and emphatically validate them.
Understand the math difficulty, get the teacher’s help.
Connect with Mark around how scary this place is.
Apologize that the staff didn’t see he was having trouble.
Hope that he will be able to trust them enough to tell them when he gets upset.
Meanwhile say they will look out for him and try to be more alert for when things go wrong, he is over whelmed or other kids are getting on his nerves.
Maybe it sounds too hard or too much time or a luxury- but dealing with the fights and restraints that could emerge from this scenario takes a lot of time.
And doesn’t Mark have to learn that hitting is wrong and he should take responsibility for his actions?
No, he has to learn that not understanding the math doesn’t mean you are no good and that someone can assist you, that he can trust people, that adults will help him, and how to notice when he begins to feel frustrated and upset and what to do to calm himself down.
"Many children who resist turning to their parents for both safety and exploration of the self and the world tend to develop similar strategies for self-reliance and coping. These strategies reflect the psychological reality that they are responsible for both their own safety and for learning about the world. They... cannot rely on their parents.. They tend to tell other- including their parents- what they are convinced is best and what others should do. They tend to want to decide the best course of action for themselves and to oppose the decisions of their parents and others.
These children also try to avoid any event that might be associated with prior events involving fearful and shaming experiences. They develop a strong avoidance of memories of those prior events as well as any current situations that might elicit those memories. These children, in a fundamental way, may never feel safe since they fear parts of their own mind. Not only are they hyper vigilant about external events, they are equally hyper vigilant about allowing parts of their inner life to enter awareness. They often react with intense rage or terror when seemingly routine events- associated with past traumas- elicit an intense emotional response. Parents may facilitate perceived safety by controlling what their child is exposed to in the external world. It is much harder for parents to increase their child’s sense of safety when his fears originate within himself.
Given that these children have not relied on their attachment figures in any consistent manner, they are also likely not to show the developmental skills that children with attachment security tend to manifest. Their emotional experience and expressions tend toward the extreme, lacking a "thermostat" that will create flexible regulation. Their ability to reflect on the events of their lives tends to be weak, as they react to situations, often in a repetitive and rigid manner driven by fears regarding safety." (p. 177)
I think the idea of the traumatized child being afraid of what is inside himself has profound implications.
To further quote Daniel Hughes:
"Without attachment security, a child is less likely to turn to his parents for guidance as to how to be successful. He is also less likely to acknowledge his mistakes and try to correct them. He is less likely to communicate his difficulties and ask for help. As a result, he is less likely to learn from his mistakes and so correct them. Rather, he is more likely to make the same mistake again and again. This most likely will create a pervasive sense of failure. Rather than ask for help, he is likely to rely on himself more, become even more hypervigilant and controlling. With structure, supervision and limited choices, his environment makes success more likely and failure more difficult. Until he can learn from his mistakes, they have to be kept to a minimum by his environment.
There are many different reasons why children who resist attachment have trouble learning from their mistakes. First, their pervasive sense of shame causes them to deny mistakes, have excuses for them, or blame others. Second, they often have developmental disabilities that place them in situations that they are not prepared for. They tend to be raised or taught according to their chronological age rather than their developmental age. Basic skills of self-direction, impulse control, frustration tolerance, and delay of gratification tend to be weak, leaving them at a high risk for failure in many situations." (p. 185)
This seems to me further illuminate the problems that occur when staff in treatment programs try to talk to kids about their mis-behavior. Staff then say: "He will never take responsibility for his behavior" and are disappointed when the children don’t change. So we have scenarios like this:
Staff is approaching Mark to discuss what happened in school today:
Mark is new here but I really like him. I know he’s has had a rough life
Still, he can’t go around hitting people like he did in school today.
I have to get him to understand what he did wrong and take responsibility for his behavior.
I know Leroy can instigate other kids.
I will explain to Mark that if he just asks staff for help when Leroy bothers him things will go much better.
I will explain that if he doesn’t hit anyone for the rest of the week he can go to the movies with us on Saturday.
At first I didn’t think he was listening but then he began to agree with what I was telling him.
I’m sure the rest of the week will be better.
Mark is being approached by staff with a serious look on their face:
Someone is coming towards me. She looks angry. Danger! Danger! Mobilize all defenses!
I don’t trust her. I just met her a few weeks ago and she seems mean.
I know I screwed up in school again today, what a total loser I am, but the class was so confusing and I didn’t get the math. The teacher was busy with the other kids as usual and besides I know she doesn’t like me. Leroy was giving me that smirk like Joe used to and what could I do but push him away and I was afraid I was going to do much worst things.
She’s coming over here to kick me out or punish me or something bad I know it I know it.
La la la la la la I cannot hear a word she is saying who cares it doesn’t matter
I tell her what happened was Leroy and the teacher’s fault and this place sucks and I hate everyone here.
I try to shut out her words, she is smiling but I know that is fake. I agree with whatever she says trying not to hear it. I have my own ways of protecting myself against Leroy.
FINALLY she is going away and I can get back to my Nintendo DS
Sound familiar?
Will the rest of the week go better?
What could the staff have done differently:
Take longer to connect before going into the problem.
Identify the feelings Mark must have had in school and emphatically validate them.
Understand the math difficulty, get the teacher’s help.
Connect with Mark around how scary this place is.
Apologize that the staff didn’t see he was having trouble.
Hope that he will be able to trust them enough to tell them when he gets upset.
Meanwhile say they will look out for him and try to be more alert for when things go wrong, he is over whelmed or other kids are getting on his nerves.
Maybe it sounds too hard or too much time or a luxury- but dealing with the fights and restraints that could emerge from this scenario takes a lot of time.
And doesn’t Mark have to learn that hitting is wrong and he should take responsibility for his actions?
No, he has to learn that not understanding the math doesn’t mean you are no good and that someone can assist you, that he can trust people, that adults will help him, and how to notice when he begins to feel frustrated and upset and what to do to calm himself down.
Beauty Talk: Exfoliation - Part IV- How often should we exfoliate?
In our search for beauty we often forget that skin is a very complicated live organ and is not there to just please the eye. You may think exfoliation is beneficial for your skin and there can’t be too much of a good thing! But be careful: over-exfoliation and aggressive peeling, a strong recent trend among women, can lead to several very negative side-effects. Let’s remember that epidermis –
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